Nonflict : The Art of Everyday Peacemaking
The book Nonflict – The Art of Everyday Peacemaking written by Amir Kfir (Tel Aviv University- BA, Psychology and Stephen Hecht (MBA from Western University; B.Comm from McGill University; Chair of Advisory Board) explores a healthy option to contain, manage and eliminate the conflicts in our daily lives which includes personal and non personal relationships.
Conflicts are inevitable truth of life and the mankind has been working on multiple concepts to contain it. Conflicts are not just unproductive but also demeaning and destructive. Some characteristics of conflicts have been ably described by the American Anabaptist author David W. Augsburger :
“The more we run from conflict, The more it masters us; The more we try to avoid it, The more it controls us; The less we fear conflict, The less it confuses us; The less we deny our differences, The less they divide us.”
The good news is that one does has a choice of not having to put up with conflict and also use it as an opportunity. To quote Singer and Song writer Paul David Hewson AKA Bono “Whenever you see darkness, there is extraordinary opportunity for the light to burn brighter.”
The magic of resolving a conflict is to start somewhere. Every noble work is at first impossible. – Thomas Carlyle
The book Nonflict – The Art of Everyday Peacemaking takes us through the types of conflicts and how mankind has been trying to manage them. Most of the management techniques used are positive but lacking in some way or the other.
The nonflict method suggested by Amir Kfir is not a radical new invention but a radical new way of utilising the existing known principles to achieve a solution without friction. It has 3 steps.
In the first step, the conflicting parties share their views of the conflict. It creates better understanding of each others point of view. The technique to understand each other is mirroring. The partners mirror the essence of what the other is saying. Having a good discussion is like having riches. – Kenyan proverb
In the second step, the partners discuss the shared reality. They visualise the facts and feelings.
In the final step, partners co-create. They discuss the best case scenario, obstacles of achieving it and what each partner has to do to overcome it.
The book gives multiple accounts in which the method was used for containing interpersonal, business and global conflicts. The method has also helped creating social change in India and Mexico.
We recommend the book ‘Nonflict – The Art of Everyday Peacemaking’ for it’s simplicity and resourcefulness.