India currently has a $40 billion trade surplus with the United States. That’s a significant amount; it’s a bright red target. And sure enough, just when we thought global diplomacy was starting to calm down, President Donald J. Trump, also known as The Deal Maker, The Tariff Tornado, The Man with the Golden Comb-Over, strikes again.
He’s back in the White House, and he’s wasting no time making America “Win” again. His latest display of economic bravado? Imposing hefty new tariffs on a range of Indian exports, gems, jewellery, textiles, seafood, auto parts, and even cumin if we’re not careful. It’s the kind of move that prompts analysts to scramble and exporters to consult their accountants.
But here’s the twist: India isn’t mad. India’s amused. And maybe even a little flattered.
In fact, we believe it’s time to start planning something special for Trump. He’s not just a President. He’s not just a tariff enthusiast. He’s our new economic catalyst.
And come 26 January, we might have the perfect gift for him: a seat at the Republic Day Parade and a Bharat Ratna, wrapped in tricolour ribbon.
The Tariff Tantrum That Turned into a Standing Ovation
Let’s be real: tariffs are no joke. For exporters, this is serious business. Indian sectors like textiles, jewellery, and auto parts will feel the pinch. Seafood exporters are already gasping. If prawns could protest, we’d be knee-deep in picket signs.
The Sensex dropped 800 points faster than you can say “duty hike.” The rupee took a hit. And news anchors had a field day using words like “headwinds” and “correction” while sipping green tea and looking wise.
And yet—this isn’t panic. This is plot development.
Because if the US government is going out of its way to tax Indian products, it means only one thing: we’re doing something right. They don’t tariff weaklings, they tariff winners. And by trying to block Indian goods, they’ve just branded them “high-value imports.”
Enter The Strategic Genius (Accidental, Maybe—but Genius)
Donald Trump has always been a friend of India, albeit the kind who sometimes gives backhanded compliments and intense policy indigestion. But credit where it’s due:
He brought Namaste Trump to Ahmedabad in full rockstar style.
He called PM Modi “a very great guy” at least six times in one sentence.
He tried to pronounce “chai” and made it sound like a military operation.
He took trade “negotiations” to levels not even Netflix drama writers could dream of.
And now, with these tariffs, he has gifted India a wake-up call, a PR boost, and a reason to diversify trade all in one go.
That’s not foreign policy. That’s desi jugaad in reverse.
A Republic Day for the Ages: Bharat Ratna & Fighter Jets
Now, picture this: 26 January 2026.
Trump is back in Delhi, seated comfortably under the ceremonial canopy, nodding appreciatively as camels, tanks, and dancers pass by. The F-35s soar overhead, not just American ones, but a few sporting Indian Air Force livery, doing barrel rolls to the tune of Jai Ho. Down below, the Stryker ICVs roll past, part of our new Indo-US defence collaboration.
And then, the grand finale.
President Donald J. Trump is awarded the Bharat Ratna.
Why?
Because no one in recent memory has done more, intentionally or otherwise, to turbocharge India’s pursuit of economic independence.
Give him the shawl. Give him the medal. And while we’re at it, give him a plate of samosas and rasmalai as diplomatic tradition demands.
How Trump’s Tariffs Are Secretly Great for India
Make in India Gets a Makeover.
For years, the “Make in India” campaign was a rallying cry. Now, thanks to US tariffs, it’s a necessity. When your exports get taxed like designer goods, it’s proof that the world sees them as threats, not charity. That’s good news.
This gives Indian manufacturing credibility it couldn’t buy. We’re no longer the budget aisle. We’re competing with the best, and the tariffs prove it.
Domestic Demand Gets a Win
If we’re selling less to the US, we’ll sell more at home. And that’s no slight shift. India’s middle class is projected to reach 700 million by 2030. Consumers in India’s middle class want smartphones, furniture, clothes, and SUVs, and they would prefer to buy Indian products if the quality and price are competitive.
Tariffs abroad = supply at home = stronger internal market = win.
The Great Dollar Detox
Trump’s trade shock is the best argument yet for de-dollarizing our trade. Already, India is experimenting with rupee-dirham, rupee-rouble, and rupee-yuan agreements. The less we depend on the greenback, the more leverage we gain.
Thank you again, Donald. You’re pushing us to build better habits.
Allies Galore
BRICS is expanding. RIC is recalibrating. ASEAN, Latin America, and Africa they’re all open to deeper economic ties. India now has every reason to go shopping for friends with trade benefits.
What’s the Government Doing? Spoiler: A Lot
Despite the theatrics, the Indian government isn’t flustered.
GST rationalisation is in motion to ease pressure on exporters.
Incentives for MSMEs are on the way, including credit boosts.
New Free Trade Agreements are accelerating in Europe, Australia, and Africa.
Behind the scenes, diplomacy is busy. But this time, it’s not about grovelling. It’s about growing—more partners, smarter terms, better leverage.
This isn’t a defensive policy. This is chess.
Historical Flashbacks: We’ve Seen Bigger Storms
Let’s not forget—we’ve been here before, and worse.
1971: The US sent the 7th Fleet. We liberated Bangladesh anyway.
1974 & 1998: Nuclear tests. Global outrage. We still stood tall.
1991: Balance of payments crisis. Now we’re the world’s fifth-largest economy.
2020: Pandemic. Lockdowns. Recession. Rebound.
Every time India has been pushed, it’s come back stronger.
Trump’s tariffs? Just another round in a long, successful game.
Economic Resilience: Our National Superpower
Let’s call it what it is: India is built for this. We absorb shocks and turn them into strategy. Tariffs? Sanctions? Currency fluctuations? Please. We invented jugaad.
We have: –
A $3.7 trillion GDP and counting.
A 1.4 billion-person market.
A global diaspora remitting over $100 billion annually.
A startup ecosystem that raised more in 2024 than Germany and France combined.
And most importantly, we have experience. India doesn’t panic. India pivots.
The Case for the Bharat Ratna (No, Really)
So why the Bharat Ratna?
Because Trump:
Unwittingly, Indian exports became “luxury threats.”
Gave Make in India global attention.
Pushed us to explore smarter, non-US-centric trade.
Strengthened domestic production urgency.
Reminded us that strategic autonomy isn’t optional—it’s a matter of survival.
If that’s not worth a national honour (and a handshake with PM Modi), what is?
Sure, it would be unconventional. But so is he. And so is this new phase of India’s growth.
Give Him the Medal—He’s Earned It (Sort of)
So here we are.
India, hit with tariffs. Trump, back in the driver’s seat. Markets rattled. Exporters fuming. Prawns are very upset.
And yet—India smiles.
Behind the policy chaos lies opportunity. Behind the economic drama is direction. Behind the tariffs is the most significant unintentional gift India’s manufacturing sector could hope for.
Let’s turn 26 January into the most unforgettable Republic Day in decades.
Roll out the red carpet.
Cue the jets.
Warm the samosas.
And pin that Bharat Ratna on Donald J. Trump, friend of India, accidental reformer, and the only foreign leader whose tariffs made us stronger.