Life is a cycle. Those born into this world must, at the end of their journey, move on to the next. Yet when someone we love leaves us, the heart struggles to accept what the mind understands. The departure of an elder brother, husband, father, and friend leaves an absence that words can never fully describe.
The Bhagavad Gita offers solace in such a moment: “The soul is neither born nor does it ever die; nor, having once existed, does it ever cease to be. It is unborn, eternal, immortal, and ageless. It is not destroyed when the body is destroyed.” Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 2, Verse 20.
These words remind us that while the physical presence of a loved one may no longer be with us, the essence of that person — the values they lived by, the affection they gave and the lives they touched — endures.
A Baisakhi Beginning
Ashwini was born on 13 April 1958 to our late parents, Shri Sukhdev Raj and Santosh. He was their firstborn. His birth coincided with Baisakhi, one of Punjab’s most joyous festivals, a time of celebration, harvest and renewal. For our parents and the extended family, his arrival on that auspicious day was a source of immense happiness.
Our late maternal grandfather gave him the name Ashwini. In Indian tradition, the Ashwini Kumaras are associated with healing, vitality, energy and the arrival of a new dawn. Ashwini lived in a way that reflected much of this meaning. He brought energy to his responsibilities, comfort to those who needed it, and warmth to the lives of those around him.
I was born a little later, on 2 August 1960, and became his younger brother. From that moment, our lives were closely connected. As his younger brother, I watched him grow, followed him to school, and, in many ways, followed his example throughout my life.
Memories of Childhood
Some of my earliest memories come from the time our father served as Consul General at Co-Murree, Pakistan. Ashwini attended Presentation School there. I remember watching him go to school and soon insisting that I be admitted too. Our parents agreed, and we began our schooling together.
As our father’s postings took the family across India and abroad, Ashwini and I grew up sharing new places, schools, and experiences. He was always slightly ahead of me, and I looked up to him with admiration.
Our younger brother, Navin, was born in 1966 in Islamabad, when our father was posted to the Indian High Commission there in the years following the 1965 Indo-Pakistan War. His birth added another chapter to our family’s journey, which had already taken us through different places and cultures.
Navin later chose Kenya as his home. Life took him to another continent. Distance never weakened the affection, shared memories and family connection that united us. Each of us followed a different path, but the relationship formed in childhood endured across countries, time zones, and changing circumstances.
In 1975, Ashwini cleared the NDA entrance examination and joined the National Defence Academy. He was the first in our family to join the Defence Services. His decision opened a new world for all of us. During his term breaks, his course mates would visit our home, and through them we began to understand the culture of the Services, its discipline, traditions, camaraderie, and deep sense of duty.
The Regiment and the Uniform
Ashwini was commissioned into the 72 Armoured Regiment in June 1980. He found in the regiment not only a profession but also a family. He was respected as an officer and loved as a person.
I remember visiting him when the regiment was stationed at Patiala. I spent about ten days there, observing the regiment’s life and seeing Ashwini at work. That experience awakened in me the desire to join the Army. About a year and a half later, I too was commissioned into the 65 Armoured Regiment.
In this sense, Ashwini influenced my life not only through advice but also through his example. He showed me what it meant to serve, to accept responsibility, and to live by a code larger than oneself.
Ashwini was a cherished officer of the 72 Armoured Regiment. He was admired not only for his professional ability but also for the warmth, understanding, and humanity with which he treated people. The regiment was more than an appointment in his career; it was a community of comrades, friends and families that remained important to him throughout his life.
A Family of His Own
Ashwini’s life also brought him companionship with Binu. They married on 16 February 1984 at Ambala. The 72 Armoured Regiment attended the wedding as a unit, driving down from Patiala. It was a fitting reflection of the affection in which Ashwini was held by his regiment.
Together, Ashwini and Binu built a loving family and welcomed Akanksha, affectionately known as Cherrie, and Bhavuk into their lives. To Binu, Ashwini was a husband, companion and source of strength. To Cherrie and Bhavuk, he was a father whose love, guidance, and presence shaped their lives.
The loss of a husband and father is immeasurable. But while grief will remain, so will the many memories of the life they shared with him—memories that will, with time, become a source of comfort and strength.
Bonds That Endure
The days following Ashwini’s passing have once again reminded us of the extraordinary camaraderie and bonds among veterans. These relationships are forged through shared service, common values, difficult experiences, and an enduring sense of belonging. They do not end when an officer retires or active service concludes. They endure as lifelong bonds.
In these difficult times, General PPS Bhandari stood firmly with Binu and all of us. His support, guidance, and personal presence brought immense comfort to the family. He led from the front, demonstrating through his actions the true meaning of comradeship. His solidarity reminded us that the military family remains together, especially when one of its own is passing through a time of grief.
The support extended by Ashwini’s course mates, regimental colleagues, seniors, juniors, and friends was equally moving. Veterans came together to offer assistance, made arrangements, and stood beside the family. Some helped quietly behind the scenes, while others stayed simply to provide moral support. Every gesture reflected the affection and respect that Ashwini inspired in others.
For Binu, Cherrie, Bhavuk and all of us, this fellowship has been a source of great strength. It has shown that the bonds forged in the uniformed Services endure long after active duty ends. Retirement may mark the conclusion of one’s professional service, but it does not end the comradeship that binds veterans together.
We are also deeply grateful to Delhi Area Headquarters for ensuring that they bid farewell to a combatant on his final journey in a fitting manner. The participation of serving officers and men, and the care with which each of them did their bit, reflected the dignity and respect accorded to every soldier who has served the nation.
For the family, this was far more than a ceremonial farewell. This affirmed Ashwini’s place in the larger military family and that people continued to remember and honour his service. The presence of serving personnel provided great comfort and pride at a moment of profound sorrow.
Ashwini’s final journey brought together veterans who had shared his years of service and serving officers and men who represented the continuing traditions of the Armed Forces. Together, they ensured that he was accompanied with the dignity, respect and affection he so richly deserved.
Service Beyond the Army
After his active service, Ashwini continued to translate his experience and abilities into public life. He served as an Officer on Special Duty with the late Shri Jaswant Singh, then the Finance Minister of India.
He later worked with the Reliance Group and HCL before joining Honeywell International in 2010 as its Head of Government Relations. At Honeywell, he drew on his understanding of the Armed Forces, government, bureaucracy and political leadership.
His contribution to the company was immense. He understood the complexities of engaging with institutions across India, and he knew that relationships must be built on trust, respect and integrity. His wide experience and sound judgment enabled him to represent the company with credibility and effectiveness.
Even as he approached the age of superannuation, the president of Honeywell ensured that his tenure was extended twice. That decision reflected the immense value the company placed on his experience, commitment, and contribution.
Yet, for all his professional achievements, Ashwini never defined himself merely by the positions he held. Whether he was wearing the uniform, serving in government, or representing a multinational corporation, the person remained the same—calm, approachable, principled, and considerate.
A Wonderful Human Being
Ashwini’s leadership was never merely about authority. He understood that people respond best when treated with dignity. He listened, encouraged and helped. He had the rare ability to remain firm in his responsibilities without ever becoming harsh or distant.
The condolences I have received from his course mates, seniors and juniors have confirmed what our family already knew. Almost every message has described his generosity, kindness, integrity, warmth and dependability.
Different people have remembered different aspects of him, but the central impression has been remarkably consistent: Ashwini was a good man.
That is perhaps the highest tribute anyone can receive.
He was someone people could approach. He made time for others. He responded to calls and messages. He offered guidance without making people feel small. He helped without seeking recognition.
The true measure of his life lies in the people who remember him not for his designation, but for the way he made them feel.
The Final Goodbye
Losing a husband, a father, or an elder brother is never easy. The mind may accept that life has reached its natural conclusion, but the heart still expects the familiar voice, the phone call, the advice and the reassuring presence.
When I met Ashwini yesterday morning to bid him farewell, we both knew it would be our final goodbye. There was little left to say after a lifetime of shared memories.
As I prepared to leave, Ashwini raised his hand and blessed me. That blessing will remain with me forever.
It was the final gesture of an elder brother who had guided me since childhood, whose choices had shaped my life, and whose presence had been a source of strength. In that moment, I felt the entire journey of our relationship from our schooldays at Co-Murree to our years in uniform, from family celebrations to life’s difficult passages.
A Life Well Lived
This tribute is not only to mourn Ashwini’s death. It is also meant to celebrate the wonderful life he lived.
He was a soldier who served with honour. He was a husband who built a life of companionship with Binu. He was a father who gave his children love, direction and security. He was an elder brother whose example shaped my own life. He was a friend, colleague and mentor who made people feel respected and valued.
His life connected many worlds: the army, public service, government, industry, and family. In each of these worlds, he left behind people who remember him with gratitude.
The greatest measure of a person is not the title they held or the organisations they served. It is the difference they made in others’ lives. By that measure, Ashwini’s life was rich and deeply meaningful.
With Gratitude
To Binu, Cherrie and Bhavuk, I offer not only my deepest condolences but also the assurance that Ashwini’s memory will remain a source of strength. His love, values and example will continue to guide you.
To our family, his friends, coursemates, veterans, colleagues, and all who have sent condolences, offered prayers, and stood by us, I offer my heartfelt thanks. Your words and presence have brought comfort in this time of profound grief.
As we remember Ashwini, let us carry forward the qualities that defined him: kindness without display, courage without arrogance, service without expectation, and affection without condition.
Ashwini, you began your life on Baisakhi, a day of joy and renewal. You lived with purpose, served with honour, and gave generously of yourself to those around you. Your physical journey has come to an end, but the light of your life remains with us in Binu, Cherrie and Bhavuk, and our family; in 72 Armoured Regiment, which you cherished; in the veterans who stood by you; and in the serving officers and men who honoured you on your final journey.
You were my elder brother, my first example, and one of the most important influences in my life.
As we bid you farewell, we do so with pain, but also with immense gratitude.
May you rest in peace.
May your soul continue its onward journey in the light of the Divine.
And may the blessing you gave me in our final moments remain with me always.